Thursday, June 24, 2010

Weapons, Religion, and Public School Policy

Some of you are no doubt familiar with the story last week of a Rhode Island public school banning the hat of second-grader David Morales. In order to participate in the school's "crazy hat day", David had decorated an army-themed hat with little plastic toy army men. The school banned the hat due to the school's zero-tolerance policy for weapons, because the toy soldiers were carrying tiny plastic military rifles.
When we read a story like this, it is easy to dismiss it as the rare insanity of an errant administrator. Surely this kind of decision-making is not common in public schools?

I myself was the victim of a bizarre public school ruling when my daughter attended public school in Kindergarten. Sensitive to the fact that my daughter was one of the few Jewish children attending her public school in Alabama, I asked her teacher if I could come into the classroom to share a bit about one or more Jewish holidays. I assured her up front that everything discussed would be in an age-appropriate, secular/cultural context. I also offered her a choice of several holidays, including Rosh Hashanah, the Jewish New Year, which could have easily been reduced down to a brief lesson on different calendar systems and the sharing of some cultural items and foods.

Her teacher, however, did not feel comfortable with me bringing any remotely religious content into the classroom. After some discourse, I decided to drop the matter, out of respect for the school's desire to maintain a secular environment, as much as I disagreed.

Yet that December, I found my daughter utterly inundated with Christmas imagery and symbols. Truly, I had no problem with this aside from the utter hypocrisy of having Jewish celebrations banned from this classroom while my daughter remained exposed to Christmas revelry unabated. Still, understanding that Christmas is for a large portion of society a secular celebration, I remained silent until I saw the schedule called for a viewing of "A Charlie Brown Christmas."

Now, I love Charlie Brown. I love the Christmas special. It's classic, and I have no issue with my children being exposed to this endearing piece of 20th century American culture. But the show has an undeniable Christian message, with Linus getting up on stage and telling the miraculous story of the birth of Jesus Christ.

I contacted the teacher and emphasized up front that I had absolutely no objection to this film being shown to my child, but that considering the religious content and the constant exposure to Christmas imagery, I could see no reasonable objection to me coming in and reading a Hanukkah counting book to Kindergarteners and letting them spin some dreidels.

After much hemming and hawing, the teacher did eventually permit me to come in and present some non-religious Hanukkah items. She also, much to my great objection and regret, cancelled the viewing of "A Charlie Brown Christmas."


This is the tragedy of the modern American classroom, which is increasingly becoming devoid of common sense. This is the tragedy of the American public, that has grown so hypersensitive, it demands an emotionally and intellectually sterile environment for its children. No one group, I think, is devoid of guilt in this phenomenon; the pacifist that is offended by army men, the Jew that is offended by the Christmas tree or Easter flowers, the Christian that is offended by Harry Potter books or paperboard witches at Halloween. The family with no mothers and/or fathers that wrings hands over the potential trauma of their child having to endure a Mother's or Father's Day activity. Health awareness has even put a stop to the sharing of birthday treats at many schools, and recess is increasingly being replaced by structured physical education activities.

It is without end. What began as an attempt to expand diversity in the classroom is rapidly transforming into something that excludes all practical diversity in favor a secular, predictable, safety-sealed educational experience.

Friday, June 11, 2010

Teaching Independence

My husband and I have had self-sufficiency on the mind, lately, relating to topics of independence and liberty; the more you can do for yourself, the more free you are. My husband and I grew up in many ways rather coddled by good, caring, late 20th century middle-class parents that cared a great deal about our self-esteem and safety. So warned was I of the perils of strangers, that until the age of sixteen when I was forced to speak to strangers while working my first job in retail, I was too nervous to order a pizza over the phone. Now, we parent as part of a generation of parents that does more to serve their children than ever before. My husband and I are trying to grow more self-aware about our own failures to encourage our children's independence.

Last week, I had in my care four girls - two of my own, and two of a friend's - ranging in age from five to ten. With these thoughts on my mind, when my seven-year-old came to me asking to purchase the latest direct-to-DVD Barbie film release, I had an epiphany.

"If you want it badly enough, get out your piggy bank. It'll probably take most of what you have saved." I said.

She obliged without complaint.

"Now count it out," I said. As she counted out the coins, I reminded her here and there about denominations and skip-counting. "It'll probably be about fifteen dollars, but you'll need extra for the tax."

I then prompted the ten-year-old friend to explain to the others what a tax is, and how much it would likely be.

"Can we get candy to go with the movie too?" my five-year-old asked.

"You have a piggy bank too. Get it out. You probably don't want to spend more than three or four dollars on candy."

After they bagged their money, they all piled into my minivan and I drove them to Wal-Mart.

"If you want the movie and the candy, YOU get it." I stated as we drove to the store. "You will find the items you want to purchase, you will look at the prices, you will take the items to the front and pay for them. You will then lead us back to the car. I will follow you, but I will not help you. If you need help, you can ask a worker."

To my amazement, this experiment thrilled the girls beyond belief. They were literally starved for independence. They even stated with giddy glee "We are SO independent! This is awesome!"

I was pleased, but also horrified at myself. What the hell had I been doing for my kids that they could have been doing for themselves? Am I that lazy and cautious as a parent?

There were only two times I had to step in during the whole experience.

The first was at the check-out counter. Under the duress and pressure of waiting in the check-out line, the girls (understandably I thought) choked when it came to counting out the pocket change and dollar bills necessary to pay the clerk. My seven-year-old did the best thing she could independently do - she gave the entire bag of money to the Wal-Mart cashier, hoping the employee would count out the correct money for her.

The cashier, a woman probably in her early twenties, looked dumbfounded.

"How much is in here?" she asked.

"More than enough." I said, standing behind all the girls and out of reach, "Just count it out."

The cashier looked at me as if I had just presented her with a calculus exam. I muscled my way past the girls, and I held up each coin and dollar bill, reminding them how to count out the correct amount of money. Of course, when we got back to the car, I was sure to point out to them that the cashier was confused by money-counting - and couldn't do her job. A great illustration as to why we expect them to learn to do it.

The second time I had to step in was when the girls got disoriented in the parking lot. Rather than allow a gaggle of girls to wander around in a parking lot aimlessly, I pointed them in the right direction until we found our way to the minivan.

"I never pay attention to where we park!" the ten-year-old exclaimed.

"Me neither!" said my seven-year old.

Of course they don't. Because thus far I have been leading my daughters around like sheep. My friend had been leading her daughters around like sheep.

I decided right then and there, that it's time to make some changes. This wasn't just a one-time experiment, but a philosophy that from that day forward will guide the way I see my own children, my scouts, and any other child I am in a position to influence.

Saturday, June 5, 2010

The Value of Summer Camp

My kids just finished an exciting week at Pine Ridge Day Camp, and the fun has just begun. In addition to finishing up this week of swimming, horseback riding, hiking, caving, arts & crafts and more, in two weeks we will be attending a Girl Scout gardening day camp, where I will also be in the role of counselor, as well as a week and a half of day camp at the local science center. Next year, I hope to begin to introduce them to their first experience at resident camp as well.



While I firmly believe that quality summer camp, whether resident or day, can be a valuable experience for all children,  I feel summer activities provide especially valuable opportunities for homeschooled children, as well as their parents. In addition to the obvious benefits of being able to try new experiences independently, homeschooled children get the opportunity to experience the day-to-day routine of the group experience, without having to commit to the grind and problems of public school, or the long-term expense of private school. Because camps are so varied, this experience can be catered to the interests and needs of the child, and also give the homeschooling parents and students a break from each other. 

If you are homeschooling, I urge you to look into what types of camp experiences might be available to your child. There are many opportunities available, including camps that share your religious values, and camps that welcome your presence and involvement if you desire. Many camps offer scholarships or funding for families who need assistance, through scouting organizations or churches, and some religious-oriented camps in the form of vacation Bible school, offer these experiences for free. 

When a child is ready, overnight camp is a fabulous independence-building experience for any child, and the memories, and sometimes skills, acquired there can last a lifetime.