At the caverns we participated in an educational program. Apparently we were the first group they had ever presented with this program. School groups rarely go there for reasons I will make clear in a moment.The kids got to be "junior paleontologists" unearthing a faux mastodon (complete with a "bone" trunk. Yeah.) They also unearthed bits of "planted" real fossils that the kids got to dig up. This was all actually in the cave. The kids had a blast doing this - digging, then sifting, then categorizing and identifying the findings. The kids even found a couple real (non-planted) fossils, being the first group there I'm sure helped.
About 15 minutes into our "dig" we are stopped because a tour was coming through to see the "light show". So we are invited to sit down and watch the "light show".
The cave went dark and we were informed that it was time for their "Easter light show". It's seasonal. Apparently they do Christmas, Easter, Valentine's Day and "Creation" when there is no holiday.
In normal civilization a warning would have been issued to those who suffer from light-induced seizure disorders, because what followed was a headache-inducing flash of light and color and spewing-water-from-stalagmites. The flashing kept tempo (sort of) with a muffled recorded voice telling the story of Easter with echo-y crappy music in the background. At some point, there was an LED cross that lit up.
Now dear readers, I would like to state here that I have only respect for my friends of the Christian faith, and I am not mocking specifically the cave-tribute to Jesus but.... it was a REALLY TACKY cave-tribute to Jesus. All I could see in my head was this insanity being on an episode of "The Simpsons" with Ned Flanders taking his family on a really hyper-religious road trip.
After the "light show" I'm thinking about the faux mastodon with its bone "trunk" and I'm thinking "These guys are TOTALLY gonna be young-Earth creationists". So I start reading their laminated "educational" cards about mastodons going extinct "a couple centuries ago". The guy leading the "educational event" later made comments about stalagtites growing at ridiculously fast rates (but only when no one's looking, mind you. Apparently once the caves are "exposed to air" they stop the crazy growth which is why no one has observed it.) There was also a comment about a T-Rex fighting a woolly mammoth in a battle to the death.
Thank goodness my kids were too young to notice any of this. They still did get something out of the sifting and the identification and the categorizing of objects. Good for them. I was relieved that all the other families in the homeschool group were also rolling their eyes at the light show and the fictional information about prehistoric creatures and other erroneous "education".
After this the kids panned for gems (planted gems, very fun), and went through a fence maze. Even though it was wet and freezing, everyone really enjoyed themselves.
I have to say, it was a good time, and in spite of my theological differences with the proprietors, all the employees there were very friendly and helpful. Something I will never forget but, I can't say I'll be going back there anytime soon.
For those of you out there that are young-earth creationist parents that live in or will be visiting north-central Alabama, you now have a must-see educational destination to add to your list.
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