The Age Dynamic

The first time I took my daughter to the homeschool P.E. class at the local YMCA, I was alarmed to discover that the activities were separated into just two age groups; one for ages 5-11 and another for those ages 12-18.

When I eyed the pre-adolescent boys approaching from the parking lot, I have to admit I had second thoughts. "My 7-year-old daughter playing dodgeball with 11-year-old boys?" I thought. "Are you KIDDING me?" I was a new homeschooling parent and this was my first experience with any kind of group activity.

I do think my cause for concern had some validity. In American society at large, where most children are grouped by exact ages for schoolwork, recess, and extracurricular activities, many children never learn how to appropriately and comfortably interact with children of different ages. I know many parents who are uncomfortable with the idea of their young child merely sitting for ten minutes on the same bus with fifth graders. This concern is not entirely without reason, as many young children in this setting are intimidated by children even a year or two older, and many older children remain unfamiliar with how to treat younger children. I myself have a memory of playing at recess as a kindergartner and hearing the sing-song voices of first graders mocking "Lit-tle ba-bay kin-der-gartners! Lit-tle ba-by kin-der-gartners" as they clutched on to the chain-link fence that segregated the kindergarten playground.

So when the group of homeschooled children, including some giant ten and eleven-year-old boys, gathered around their teacher at the YMCA, I was a bit unsettled. My nerves became really frazzled as I heard the teacher announce that the children were going to play something called "scatterball". I'm still not clear on the rules, but it sounded like a hybrid between dodgeball and unmitigated chaos. I watched with reservation as my tiny first grader trotted after them, looking a little insecure herself. Jeff, the instructor, seemed like a very responsible young man, so I swallowed my reservations, sent up a brief prayer, and drove off to pick up my four-year-old and her friend from their preschool program.

Fifteen minutes later, with two preschoolers in two, I pulled my Sienna into the parking lot adjacent to the field where the group of kids were playing scatterball. I cringed as a giant, prepubescent hooligan hurled a red rubber ball full force at another, sending him out of the game.

Then, at the next opportunity, the same monster turned around with ball in hand to confront my daughter. I held my breath. The fifth-grade boy - perhaps not a monster after all - lobbed the ball towards my daughter with first-grade force. She tried her best to dodge out of the way. She failed, but the ball bounced harmlessly off her leg. This boy had treated her fairly, with the judgement of an adult playing a game with young children. He knew not only to lob the ball more gently at her, but also to include her in the game. "Of course," I said to myself. "He is homeschooled. He knows how to interact with children of all ages. He does not spend all his waking hours exclusively with 11-year-olds."

This concept is not entirely new to me. My daughter spent a year enrolled in a Montessori preschool, and Marie Montessori's philosophy included stressing the importance of a multi-age experience for children in the course of their education. While there will be those that are skeptical of the viability of a multi-age classroom, to me there is no doubt that there is great social value in giving children the opportunity to interact with a diverse age group.